Author: Dave Schulz
To say that Lance Diamond was an integral part of my musical life is an understatement.
When I was around 19 and playing in various bands around town, Lance offered me the keyboardist position in his “24 Karat” band. I spent every weekend for many years playing Lance’s classic renditions of songs like “Caribbean Queen”, “Disco Inferno” “Copacabana” and “Too Legit To Quit” (a silly song that Lance CLEARLY made his own, as he did with everything).
While I used to complain, in my youthful ignorance, about being stuck at the Elmwood Lounge every weekend, having no social life, I had no idea of the impact it would have on my life.
Many incredible opportunities came from that experience, namely the formation of C.O. JONES with Steve DeMarchi (Lance’s guitarist at the time) and my eventual tenure with the Goo Goo Dolls, which Lance played a part in. Although he would never admit it (being the humble, modest guy he was) I know he was an influence in getting me that job.
Lance had one simple goal in life: to make people smile. He achieved that in infinite waves. He was also one of the funniest people I knew.
Here are some fine examples:
Random dude walks by.
Lance: “Wish I had YOUR money!”
Girl walks by.
“How are ya Lance?”
Lance: “Better now that you’re here!”
Lance: “Man Dave! Whenever I go to McDonald’s I order somethin’ weird… like a fish with cheese! That way I know it’s fresh!”
“It’s Wednesday. It’s either Colonel or the King!”
When he thought someone was being stingy: “Man! He wouldn’t give a crippled crab a crutch!”
Me calling him:
“Whats up Lance!”
Lance: “I’m in the tub. AND I got company.” Click.
“Whats up Lance!”
Lance: “I’m in the tub. AND I got company. AND I’m on long distance.” Click.
Even when he had to let someone go in his band, it was funny. “Sorry dude. Yo’ shit just aint on the money!”
The one-liners were endless.
Yeah Lance, you definitely put a smile on my face.
I heard the news about his being in the hospital from a couple of friends last weekend. Sadly, I wasn’t able to call in time.
I am so sad I didnt get to say goodbye to my friend.