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Shortgirl ATM drive-thru workout

Author: Suzan Schaffstall

I must admit that in this day and age I don’t use cash very much and I usually have little more than $5 in my wallet at any given time. I rarely need cash and when I do it’s always at an inconvenient time when the bank is closed, but the drive-thru ATM is always open, ugh! I dread using this contraption because it truly is a workout. First of all, you have to get super close to the ATM machine, but they have those stupid barriers so that idiots don’t smash into the building (I caught my mirror on the bright yellow bollard on more than one occasion).

The whole process of even driving up to one of these things causes me anxiety.  So the moment I pull up inevitably another car pulls up behind me, and here’s where the workout starts, my heart rate increases, I take a nice deep cleansing breath and hit the button to roll down the window, a quick glance in the rearview as the window finishes it descent, and another cleansing breath.  I’ve got my card ready, okay here we go.  Oops, I pulled up just a little too far, I’m going to have to reach out and back to reach the card slot, another breath, glance in the rearview and another car has joined the line. My arm goes out the window and damn, won’t reach. I slide all the way to the left on my seat getting as close to the door as I can and reach again, leaning as far out the window as I can the flippin’ seat belt locks practically choking me. Glance in the rearview, breathe, remove the seatbelt, and out the window I go. Finally just barely reaching the card slot.

Now I just have to remember my pin, is it the same one I use for everything, or is it different because this is the bank, okay, just try the one you always use.  YES, success. Glance in the rearview, breathe, figure out how much money to take out, bring arm slightly back in the car, just for a rest ‘cause my arm is starting to hurt, ok quick cash $100 because another car just pulled into the parade line I’ve created and I need to get out of here because I’m hanging halfway out the window and well its cold outside. No, I don’t want a receipt! Now the cash spits out the lower slot, that’s going to be a challenge, I hike myself up and out a little bit further and success I have my cash and an audience of gawkers who have apparently never seen a short girl do an ATM workout before.

I’m back in the car, and all I really want to do is speed away as fast as I can, but I’ve got to get back in my seat and put on my seatbelt and hope that I don’t smash my mirror on that barrier that is clearly in my way. All set, deep cleansing breath, shoulders back, sit up straight and tall and put the car in drive.  As I begin to pull away my smartwatch beeps, alerting me that I just completed a workout and burned 53 calories!  Hmmm, maybe I should use cash more often. Short but mighty, shortgirls rule!

PS: You can also perform this workout at any of your favorite drive-thru restaurants and toll booths. Calorie burns may vary. Happy New Year!

Sue Schaffstall graduated from St. Bonaventure University with a degree in Mass Communications and Journalism. After a brief stint as News Director at WESB in Bradford, PA, she took time off to raise her three children. For the past 18 years, she has worked at St. Francis High School, where she currently serves as Vice President of Marketing and Communications. Her latest venture includes her newly formed brand Shortgirl.

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