As we sat at Spot on Elmwood on a snowy Saturday morning for this interview, all of us noticed a recent edition of Artvoice with a cover picture taken by their mutual friend Christina Shaw. There were two remarkable aspects to this fact: 1) Christina was there when Bryan and Ashley began dating in NYC and 2) the picture featured Joseph Thomas, Sr. who I would be interviewing weeks later for a Fandemoneum Sports Museum piece. We are truly all connected to each other here!
It was yet another unavoidable piece of objective evidence that Buffalo literally has 1.5 degrees of separation. You barely have to schedule an interview to get a meaningful story here, related to any theme or endeavor.
Bryan is as Buffalonian as they come, with both of his grandfathers having worked all their life at the Bethlehem Steel plant in Lackawanna. After graduating from UB with a BA in communications and interning with WBFO, he moved to the New York Metro area in 2004. At first, he found work as a cook in a 3-star restaurant for several months before landing a position in the research department of a media agency.
Ashley graduated from Virginia Tech in 2007, the Alma Mater of Bruce Smith, and took a job with a NYC firm as a fashion designer, after an upbringing in Clarence. She never wanted to leave Buffalo, and nervously cried on the snowy drive to the Big Apple. She started out living with a family friend, and then settled in a small apartment in Jersey City, NJ. Nine months later she met Bryan at an art show in Jersey City. They were introduced by two friends from New York City, who are actually UB alumni. Janet was Ashley’s co-worker at SaraMax Apparel Group, and John was Bryan’s colleague at Zenith Media. Their friends knew they were both from Buffalo, so they thought they should meet. Bryan knew that he was meeting her, but she had no clue! They instantly connected, and shared that “Buffalo bond”. I guess you could say that Buffalo roots were what brought them together. The rest was history.
There seems to be Buffalonians everywhere you go. This point is echoed by everyone I interview for this series. WE’RE EVERYWHERE!
Bryan and Ashley settled into a two bedroom in Brooklyn’s heavily Polish occupied Greenpoint neighborhood, bordering the more-popular Williamsburg. Their favorite neighborhood hangout was Café Grumpy, a roaster and coffee destination. They also came into Manhattan on Sundays to watch football games at places like McFadden’s with hundreds of other Buffalo fans.
Although Bryan and Ashley have great friends in NYC, they found that their social life was much different than what they were used to in Buffalo. When they would meet up with friends it was out at a bar or restaurant, or museum, or film; but very seldom did anyone entertain friends at their apartments. Apartments just aren’t the ideal space for entertaining in NYC – they are tiny and there is so much more to do outside of one’s living space. The two decided that at some point they wanted to be able to be closer to family and their hometown city. Living in the city of Buffalo, they would be able to walk to restaurants and bars, but still be able to take a quick drive to visit family and friends on any given night. What more could they ask for?
They monitored Craigslist and other resources, keeping track of life in Buffalo and knew that eventually, they could own their own home and even rent out part of it to cover the mortgage for the rent they were spending on their small two bedroom apartment. In the meantime, they had to creatively rearrange things to have anything resembling a living room type space in Brooklyn.
Bryan eventually began primarily working from home as a business analyst for Nokia (which often meant working from the local Café Grumpy). Both characters in this tale enjoyed frequent trips back to Buffalo, visiting family for holidays, and enjoying favorite spots like their friend’s restaurant, Torches, on Kenmore Avenue for award-winning food and drinks. Like so many, they fantasized about what it could be like to have a place to live here complemented by all the beloved spots they enjoyed on these homecoming trips.
Friends (Brian Shaw – a media manger; Christina Shaw – a well-respected photographer here in Buffalo, Emily Burns – a Public Relations Specialist) began moving back home from NYC. Bryan and Ashley watched jealously as the return of their friends turned out better than expected. Marriages, houses, family, new lives back in the comfort of home. Finally, a gift from the universe in the form of a job for Ashley at The Park School of Buffalo, along with the flexible nature of Bryan’s career facilitated a return opportunity for the couple. They embraced it.
After returning to Buffalo, they took up residence in a sprawling 1,400 sq. foot West Side apartment. It felt huge to them. Their Buffalo flat made them realize how much they had compressed their lives in order to function. When they unloaded in Buffalo, exhausted and excited, they were met by friends and family and wine and food – surrounded by all that they loved and missed.
For Bryan and Ashley their return was fueled by a connection to a unique city with irreplaceable features. The history of our city and why it looks and feels the way it does matters to them greatly. They were driven back to Buffalo by an opportunity to connect with the heritage, the family and friends and the chance to possibly get involved in making it an even better place to live.
They wonder why Buffalo can’t just leverage the success stories of The Elmwood Strip, Allentown and other success stories into a larger, holistic city-wide recovery. They personally witnessed the transition of neighborhoods in Brooklyn and other neighborhoods in the NY Metro area from ruin to vibrancy and they are ready to help make that happen in Buffalo.
Articulating what it is about Buffalo that makes it unique, Bryan and Ashley note how transient it is in other American cities. “In New York, people are coming from somewhere else or eventually going somewhere else… in Buffalo we can connect, and plant roots and prepare for a home and a family that we hope to have someday… we can be part of what happens here.”
Like so many, our couple feels frustrated by a political domain that gets in the way of, and acts as a barrier to, change and improvement. They would like to help improve such things as schools (and other key factors that impact families and neighborhoods). How can they in turn influence more people to return to Buffalo in order to buck the past trend? They feel a long-term plan is needed (perhaps ten to twenty years in scope) in order to achieve and sustain a meaningful positive shift.
Bryan and Ashley’s story is really about love. Love for each other, love for the things that matter in life and love for a hometown that provides all the things that many people want and need. It’s about family and friends and looking forward to simple things like making oxtail stew and having a home to invite others to enjoy life in.
On the eve of their return, our cohorts took a round-robin tour of NYC
and all their favorite haunts. Bryan managed to find a quiet moment along the shore of the East River that evening to ask Ashley a very important question: “Will you marry me?” She said “Yes!” The next day, they packed up the rented moving truck in three hours and drove straight through the night and early morning to arrive to a warm welcome in their new nest.
They are betting on Buffalo because they never found such a place with everything they could ever want. Bryan still has to commute back to NYC a few times per month. He arrives in Times Square by 9:00 am and later that evening Ashley is there to pick him up at the Buffalo Niagara International Airport at 11:00 pm. Working as a team to make their “Big Buffalo Return” a success, they are delighted and grateful to be back home. We welcome them and celebrate their story!
If you know an individual or family who came (back) to Buffalo, email the author at yellowstone_mike@yahoo.com and we will consider publishing it on Buffalo Rising Online.