Buffalo Rising Online

iSome people go to New York City for the weekend, Norma would go to Italy,i said her sister Brenda Alesii, laughing. iShe just adored everything about the country and the culture.i

Norma, also known as iSissyi to her family, competed in Miss Buffalo in 1974 and was a glamorous person by nature. Her niece remembers her as the igift-giver,i the aunt that gave everyone the biggest and best Christmas gifts. Generous and liberal in her own way, she thought of everyone as equals n black, white, gay, straight, young, old n and even spent some time teaching inmates at Collins Correctional Facility. She was a model, a teacher, a buyer/manager in the retail world, a gourmet cook, a jetsetter and an animal lover. Her dog, Piccolo, went everywhere with her. She was scared of nothing, and embraced everything.

iShe always knew what to do, what to say, and what fork to use,i said Brenda.

One of her favorite things to do was feed the wild bunnies that gathered in droves outside of her condo. iAnytime we were going to her place for the holidays or a party, weid ask her what we could bring,i said Brenda. iShe always told us to bring carrots for the bunnies. And so, we did! And she took great delight in that.i

She and her husband, Brian Troy, lived in one of the very first waterfront condos downtown. For the 80s, they were viewed as a cutting-edge couple. Always busy, always out and about, they epitomized the 6 degree of separation rule n they knew everyone. And they were well-known for the numerous parties theyid throw at their home. Brian was a partner at Jaeckle Fleischmann & Mugel and Norma was an Italian teacher at School #38 and Erie Community College while still keeping her hand in retail and modeling. She even spearheaded a fundraising campaign for a class trip to Italy for her students at School #38, which was a success. Life was good.

In the mid-90s, their world changed when Brian was diagnosed with Alzheimeris disease in his early 50s. While he was still able to work for a short time, he eventually had to retire on disability. Norma took it upon herself to take care of him, and although she faced his illness and the incredible disruption in their lives, there was some denial too.

Then in 1998, Normais own world came crashing down. After injuring her neck in an auto accident, she went to see her doctor, who discovered a lump in her breast during her examination. She advised her to get a mammogram. She scheduled one, thinking nothing of it since there was no cancer history in her family. Little did Norma know her life would never be the same.

Norma had a lumpectomy in late October, and was diagnosed with breast cancer on October 28, 1998. She and her doctor decided to schedule a mastectomy immediately, and that took place just 12 days later, on November 9.

She went through the recommended treatment, including chemotherapy and radiation, all the while taking care of her husband, trying to make daily long-term plans for his care. However, the odds were stacked against her, and she knew it.

iShe was very weak at times, but so tough too,i remembered Brenda. iI remember her saying to me at one point, eI just hope this works.ii

Even though Norma was in excruciating pain because her cancer was metastasizing, her fashion sense never left. She refused to wear a wig, but used a scarf instead. She also had talked of plans to help other women dealing with this disease and wanted to join the iLook Good, Feel Goodi program as a volunteer once she got better.

After months of living with her disease and receiving treatment, her doctors knew there was nothing left they could do. Her family remembers her talking on the phone to colleagues and friends from her Hospice bed, telling them she would get be out of there soon.

iShe never gave up, she kept on fighting,i said Gina Passantino, Normais niece. On June 8, 1999, Norma passed away. She was just 48 years old.

Brianis disease seemed to fast-track once Norma was gone, and he died just over a year later.

When you ask Normais family if they feel her presence today, smiles overtake them and they say absolutely.

Brenda can sometimes smell her perfume. She can hear her. And she says whenever something big is happening in her life or someone in the familyis life, a bunny rabbit will just show up.

iItis still mind-boggling to me that sheis gone,i said Gina. iBut she shows up in my dreams and itis so real n when I wake up, itis as if she told me eIim happy. Iim good.ii