Unfortunately, some of us here in Buffalo suffer from the inferiority complex that says that we should be last in every ranking (as I write this while sitting in a hotel in last-place Providence).
Unfortunately, some of us here in Buffalo suffer from the inferiority complex that says that we should be last in every ranking (as I write this while sitting in a hotel in last-place Providence).
Gaustad: With every post I read of yours, I see you for the douche bag you are......get a life and do a favor for every Buffalonian and move out of this great city!
hrbuffinstuff, Do we really want to focus on rolling out the welcome mat for people like rickyrick who piss and moan the majority of the time? I never had any trouble dating here and found that dating someone who wasn't from here only gave us more to talk about, not less. Maybe what should be "taken to heart" is that perhaps it has something to do with the individual trying to date, not the city they live in, that is part of the problem. Both rickyrick and gaustad post mostly negative comments here and I can't imagine they are much different in person. Totally unfair comment, I know, because I don't know either of them, it's just a response to bashing my city because they find dating difficult which is even more unfair.
DAN, I grew up in Buffalo, have lived in California for 25 years. I come back twice a year for family reasons, but still go out when in town. A lot of what anybody brings to the table is "who you are". I like that I'm from Buffalo, I also like what I bring back to Buffalo. Being gay adds a whole different spin. We can all sit around and compare here vs. there. I love San Francisco, but Buffalo reminds me that I'm a good person. I wish the people in Buffalo realized how great they are..cautious, but warm..and once you get to know them, you are never forgotten. Dating sucks in any town, big, small, gay straight. WHATEV!..but Buffalo, at the risk of sounding pukey, is like a warm sweater on a very cold night......It might not be sexy, but its human and real.
^^ Ah that is very valuable outsider feedback and it reinforces another thing which I've said many times.. Buffalo needs to focus on attracting and retaining OUTSIDERS, not just expats returning home. Too many locals and expats makes a place suffocating and inbred and to me its a leading cause of death for a city. A city must interact with its surrounding community region and country well; native Buffalonians can be pretty insulated. Rickyrick provides a valuable lesson here and I think people should listen up and take it to heart to accept and welcome outsiders and newcomers to the area.
I had a similar experience to troy when living in Louisana, where people are mostly interested in other Louisianans. I think this is pretty typical in small to mid-sized cities - I didn't get this nearly as much in NYC, where it seems most people are from someplace else also (although, as a side note, it seemed native New Yorkers weren't all that excited to meet non-natives, like they all belonged to some particular club that was even tighter than the ex-pats in buffalo club).
And, I'd also urge people to consider what is meant by "Best Place for Singles". I lived in Raleigh, North Carolina, which for quite some time held the top spot on these lists. I had so much trouble understanding this, because unless you were interested in hitting the clubs on Glenwood South, there wasn't much going on. Additionally, I think part of the reason those clubs get so packed with singles is because it's one of the only places in the city with a nightlife - imagine Buffalo only having Chippewa, but having 1million people. That's the Raleigh scene. Did anyone else have this experience in Raleigh?
Amen, Gaustad. I'm a single, recent college graduate, and let me tell you trying to take on the job/partner search at the same time in this city is more frustrating and disheartening than I had ever imagined. Good luck, everyone.
I heard that show Matchmaker was horrible, I should see actually how bad it is.
But didn't Buffalo end up dead LAST in a Mens Health survey on best city for singles?
you're right vylit. in most cities, conversations generally start out w/ "what do you do for a living" , "where do you live", etc. here, conversations tend to begin w/ finding out who you may both know. also, my significant other is from out of town and often is reminded of that fact and treated as such. in that sense, this town is kind of provincial. on the other hand, and even though i disagree, i recall recently reading literally dozens of articles in NYC papers lamenting the dating scene there.
Buffalo could move up this list easily. If you want my opinion, a private foundation needs to be created whose purpose is to finance targeted advertising campaigns in other cities focused on attracting young consultants, technology contractors and science entrepreneurs into considering the possibility of making the city of Buffalo home - due to it's low cost, high standard of living, cultural opportunities, large creative/educated population, and proximity and ease of travel to major markets via direct flights from Buffalo Niagara International Airport.
There are many indicators shown in Buffalo Rising Magazine that there is a class of people in Buffalo who "get it", I think that some organization has to step it up and bring it to the next level. Buffalo could be a tech hub for the Northeast, and emerging boomtown for young techies fed by the University Of Buffalo science, computing and medical communities. Seattle is too expensive, Charlotte and Atlanta lack an urban core and historic charm, Boston is overpopulated, New York - fuggedaboudit. Buffalo has many competitive advantages to offer in quality of life and ease of travel that are important to young professionals. Forget queen, Buffalo could even be the KING city of the lakes, and of the singles world too.
I also thought the show makes the city look good. Its a bummer they shot it in the winter, but new episodes are coming out. Hopefully from the summer.
Dating in general isnt that hard, its finding a worthy relationship thats difficult, and I think that can happen anywhere. I'm having difficulties because there are two groups of people in Buffalo-those that feel they need to be married by 25, and those that are single and working on their careers and such. I find though that the latter group seems to be a ton smaller, although most of these people live downtown. Sure, it sucks being lonely, its tough to meet people, but I think that's anywhere. At least in Buffalo people will give you the time of day. And YES, i have been asked on dates what I do first, just like other big cities. And we should be lucky for A&E putting our city on TV. It's awesome, and THEY got it. p.s. I'm single, so drop me a line hahaha
i too have found it very difficult to date here in bflo. and my wife seems to object for some reason. geez! whats up with that?
umm. why is anyone treating this list as a serious evaluation of our city? this is just one of those b.s. fluff pieces that news outlets create to sell magazines.
if anything, the psuedo-methology is the most entertaining part of the story. evaluationg factors like coolness? wow! take that to your statistics class!
Buffalo is not the only city that gives props to its natives. I've lived in NYC for almost 10 years now, and I am still reminded by my native New Yorker friends that I am a transplant from upstate. I also lived on the West coast (briefly) and still remember being put in situations where I had to defend my "East Coast mentality." Talk about being treated like an outsider. So I think it's a grossly unfair generalization to say that people in Buffalo treat outsiders like outsiders, any more than other places do that. Though I will concede that when you're in a city that has a greater influx of outsiders, like NYC, it's easier for those outsiders (or transplants) to hook up together.
And I love that show on A&E about the matchmaker. It looks like a pretty accurate portayal of the city to me, and I don't see that as a bad thing. It shows Buffalo as the quirky place that it is. There are some worthy daters on that show, and some losers. There are some places they filmed (in the dead of Winter) that look bleak, and also some pretty trendy places. What's wrong with that? Maybe some people don't like what they see when a mirror is held up to their face...but that doesn't make the show any less entertaining (nor does it make the show categorically inaccurate).
As someone who relocated to Buffalo from a larger city I too sometimes feel like the outsider in the endless "remember so-and-so's brother's, etc." conversations. But I think that, like everything, there comes a point in time where that will give way and soon you will actually be in the know. People in Buffalo do need to make a little room for newcomers and welcome different ideas, cultures, points-of-view, and perhaps most importantly to the City, streams of income. However, I think it is somewhat selfish of us newbies to expect people in the City to completely abandon the unique closeness that pervades this City. It is what separates Buffalo from cities like New York, Boston, Chicago where you are just a number.
For all of you who can't get into a relationship, maybe you should stop BLOGGING and go out and meet someone. Stop bitching how lonely you are!!! Its BS that this city is hard on singles.
I don't think the matchmaker show makes us look bad. If anything, it actually shows that we are a real city with things to do and places to go. The shots of everything from Elmwood to our great/hip looking restaurants are cool.
I don't think the matchmaker show makes us look bad. If anything, it actually shows that we are a real city with things to do and places to go. The shots of everything from Elmwood to our great/hip looking restaurants are cool. I have no problem with it being filmed in the winter. It show that we still have a life here (to many outsiders surprise).
my brother on the wesat coast watches that "dating" game. they make a party of it, have a good laugh and reinforces any reason not to move back...pity they filmed it here in buffalo.
The dating questions in Buffalo seem to only work their way into "do you know this person at.....?" and it keeps going till finally you both know the same person or people. It's so sad and shows just how small Buffalo really is. Which is why, it's hard to date, especially break up and have to avoid locations so you don't run into the ex's friend or family members. (It's just easier to move away)
I pity those who think that Buffalo is a bad place for singles. You should focus on things you have control over, rather than believe an uncontrollable factor rules your life. Controllable factors include: your appearance, the amount of women/men you talk to, the quality of those conversations, the ability to arouse the interest of the person you are interested in, etc. Sadly, as mentioned in a post above, people never get out of that boring question framework: where do you work, where do you live.
Hey BRO morons: They selected 40 cities in advance and then ranked them in order of how good they were for singles. Buffalo came 31 out of 40. In other words, 3/4 of the cities ranked are better for singles than Buffalo. Only BRO would be so desperate for news to twist any positive way they can, that they picked another article pointing out how lame this city is and twisted it to make this place look good. Either that, or "queenseyes" stayed at the bars til 4am and was still drunk when he/she read the Forbes article and couldn't comprehend it.
Buffalo was only included because they changed the way they count population....
the article states... "Our switch to the Census Bureau's "urbanized area" definition also means several cities that had been on our list in previous years--Nashville and North Carolina's Charlotte, Greensboro and Raleigh-Durham--are no longer included, since they lack a large enough central population in their urban centers. Several new cities--Jacksonville, Fla., Buffalo, N.Y., Memphis and Baltimore--replace them."
hrbuffinstuff -
Your idea to attract young consultants, technology contractors and science entrepreneurs has one giant flaw. THERE ARE NO JOBS FOR THEM. The reason for this is most companies want to move to an area or expand in an area where it is so hard to do business. The cumbersome government and high taxation has kept away the firms that employ the people you want. Local and state leaders are in the unions pocket and would rather "work" to keep those types of job versus allowing Buffalo to transition to a new center for technology, science and business. Remember these jobs are not union jobs.
Furthermore, the claim for victory for singles is sad. The claim for best places to raise a family. People need to read further into this article. "The index is determined by the average cost of a metro area's apartment RENT, a Pizza Hut pizza, a movie ticket and a six-pack of Heineken. Additionally, we factored in entry-level salary data."
JUST GREAT. Buffalo has cheap rent, pizza and movies! SWEET!
Buffalo can be so much more!!!!!
THE DATING SHOW ON A & E "Confessions of a matchmaker" IS AN ABSOLUTE EMBARASSMENT TO THIS CITY
Why would you televise a show filmed in the dead of the winter and air it in the summer - RETARDED - !!!
The lady host of the show is one of "Buffalo's finest" and the single people on the show are even more embarassing.
The show does nothing but reinforce all the negativity surronding this city. I have friends from across the country calling and laughing at how bad it is to be single here.
there is nothing good about being single in Buffalo - city is so small, everyone knows your business, no privacy - if you date someone here, you have a trail of X's harassing wherever you go
I always found dating in Buffalo to be quit difficult. Aside from the region's strong family-friendly orientation, the "big small town where everyone knows your business" feeling others have mentioned, there's also the ethnic and religious insularity. It's not as prevalent as in the past, but many in their 30s and 40s will have stories of being rejected because they weren't of the same faith and/or ethnicity. Check out online dating sites such as match.com, and you'll still see a large number of profiles in Buffalo with preferences reading "Catholics only".
When I lived in Buffalo, or returned for any extended periods, my dating life seemed like a long, parched dry spell. When I left, it was as if the dating gods performed a rain dance. (I'm happily dating a fantastic woman here in Cleveland, BTW.)
> (rickyrick) . From the same old questions "what clubs do you go too?", "do you club", "what school did you go too?" and if you say you didn't grow up here and don't know the same people, your left with akward silence and "nice meeting you".
In the eastern suburbs of Cleveland, that's called "Jewish geography." Being a transplant to Cleveland, it can be frustrating as hell, and a real barrier to meeting others and creating a sense of community. Outside of the (large) Jewish community, it's not so much of a problem; the high school and mutual friend talk is rare. Maybe in Buffalo, the phenomenon should be called "Catholic geography", since it's so widespread.
thank you, gaustad. That is sooo true. When I lived in your city last year, I found it very hard to date and found it much easier to stay single. From the same old questions "what clubs do you go too?", "do you club", "what school did you go too?" and if you say you didn't grow up here and don't know the same people, your left with akward silence and "nice meeting you". It's so lame. I find it much easier to date in a larger city where people don't give a shit that you're not a native of the area, or who you know and so on.
Let's Go USA currently says that Buffalo is way cool...works for me
why is anyone treating this list as a serious evaluation of our city? this is just one of those b.s. fluff pieces that news outlets create to sell magazines
al-alo, because so many around here are desperate for this area to receive praise and validation. Classic sign of insecurity.
But Ghengis is exactly right that Forbes did not rank Buffalo 31 out of all U.S. cities (as no doubt our drive-by media will imply) – they pre-selected 40 cities to rank and placed us 31 out of that group. This page describes their methodology:
http://www.forbes.com/2007/08/21/methodology-data-cities-forbeslife-singles07-cz_de_0821method.html
…To determine the best city for singles, we ranked 40 of the largest continental U.S. urban areas in seven different categories: nightlife, culture, job growth, number of singles, cost of living alone, coolness and online dating. Each metro is assigned a ranking of one to 40 in each category, based on quantitative data.
Carl, good point. So people who move away while in their 20s didn't count at all. That would seriously undercount all migration stats. It would be interesting to see a follow-up study that includes 20-somethings and also looks at individual metro areas. Until or unless that is done, we'll be hearing people over and over again claim that the study proved Buffalo does not have a disproportionately large exodus of young adults, when it really did not say that at all.
Not to nitpick (haha!) but a few inaccuracies in this, Chrish:
...Buffalo is shedding younger people no faster than any other region. Retention isn't the primary burden of this generation. According to a recent study by UB, it's the trouble attracting *new* younger residents that has us falling a bit behind.
- The recent study that got so much superficial media attention made no such claims about Buffalo. It analyzed all 49 counties of Upstate NY as a single entity. So it’s anyone’s guess whether or not Buffalo’s young adult out-migration is higher than national average. All that study said about it is that during 1995-2000 the young adult out-migration of Upstate NY as a whole was near the national average.
- Regarding Upstate’s attracting *new* younger residents, it is not “falling a bit behind” - it was dead last according to that study – i.e. if Upstate NY was a separate state it would be ranked #51 for attracting new young residents.
- It wasn’t done by UB, it was by the Federal Reserve Buffalo office. Here’s a link to it: http://www.newyorkfed.org/research/regional_economy/glance/upstate_glance1_07.pdf
Atwater, another thing about that study is that if you look at the fine details of that study, they ignore anyone under the age of 30, implying that 30-50 is 'young'.
Or, I can't date you because your father is black, or your mother stole from my mother back in high school or some other BS excuses.
THE DATING SHOW ON A & E "Confessions of a matchmaker" IS AN ABSOLUTE EMBARASSMENT TO THIS CITY
Why would you televise a show filmed in the dead of the winter and air it in the summer - RETARDED - !!!
The lady host of the show is one of "Buffalo's finest" and the single people on the show are even more embarassing.
The show does nothing but reinforce all the negativity surronding this city.
jhill - go put on your buffalo bills sweat suit and collect unemployment. you don't aspire to do anything with yourself.
Confessions of a match maker, weather you like it or not, does nothing to enhance the attributes that Buffalo has. It is a terrible show which only reinforces our struggling economic environment and rust belt image. Buffalo needs to reinvent itself to suceed.
You never get a second chance to make a first impression you idiot.
> .It might not be sexy, but its human and real.
I know Buffalo may be the only real, authentic, honest, and genuine city in the United States, and that the entire country outside of Erie and Niagara counties is fake, pretentious, sanitized, and plastic. However, it's still a tough city for dating, IMHO. The peer group of single educated professionals is smaller than in similarly sized cities, and among those in their 30s and older there's still the fleeting remnants of old-school Buffalo culture; "My parents would disinherit me if they found out I was seeing someone who wasn't Italian"; "I could never get serious with anyone who isn't Catholic", the Northtowns-Southtowns divide, and so on.
Despite that, you can't take the Buffalo out of me. It's a state of mind.
Buffalo does indeed have many of the resources and assests that young, single people desire. As mentioned above, we have an abundance of cultural venues, nightlife, colleges and hip urban neighborhoods. However, if we continue to fail to retain our younger populations, all of this will prove fruitless.
We may have the desired amenities for those who are young and single but we can not give them the ecomonic oppurtunity that is the incentive for them to stay. God willing our city will reverse this in time.
"Of course we're a long way from snagging the number one position." Queenseyes, please try to stem the tide of negativism. Can't any Buffalo writer say something absolutely positive about this city without some caveat? It really is disheartening. It's tiring. We made the list. That's fantastic. Leave it at that. Celebrate it! Please you're beginning to sound like the Buffalo Negative News!
RonR I mentioned consultants and contractors PRECISELY because they don't need jobs in buffalo. They are travel-related jobs with Buffalo as a home base. Anyone who's worked with consulting companies or as a contractor understands what I'm talking about. I've had numerous travel related jobs. Several national and international consulting firms don't care where you live if you live near an airport. Making Buffalo a base of operations for the East coast AND Mid-West is completely feasible for these types of people. People can also work remotely by computer, from their house, from Buffalo. But they have to be highly skilled and professional.
Anyway I wish people would stop whining about someone coming to save everyone and bring jobs. I'm talking about a new city with newcomers: entrepreneurs, small businesses, and highly trained traveling consultants. It's 2 hours or less by air to a massive number of businesses in the US and Canada.
^^ Couldnt agree more. why did we do so poorly in the cost of living category? Isnt that our claim to fame? I also think we could have scored higher in culture given our architecture, art, festivals, theater, small stores & restaurants and lack of chains. but i think we did pretty good on the coolness category. however being on the list is pretty good by itself!
Dan, I know what you mean, but thats when "you" step in. Just be who you are and let the chips fall where they may..If someone doesn't like you because you're not Italian., catholic, whatever...well, there loss. Its no different in a big city...Just a bigger pool of rejection, or..a bigger chance to succeed. You sound pretty intelligent, with something to offer. Roll with it..and let everyone else figure out their own drama.
P.S. some member by the initials of "WC" left me a message, but I mistakenly deleted it before reading it...so. if 'WC" is still out there..mail me again..Thanks!
I really blew it. They tell me this after I've already taken the plunge and given up the singles lifestyle. Oh well, nothing in life is permanent. You also have take the poll for what its worth (not much).... remember that Playboy magazine in the past has voted St. Bonaventure as one of the top "party" schools in the country.......c'mon , really? I've been there a number of times to visit friends and its no different than any other small private university in a small town.
"their" loss...not "there" loss.. I heart spell check, or is that grammar check? I told you I was from Caliifornia...
Am I the only one that recalls that report recently that ranked Buffalo dead last for singles?
Really, it depends on what you're analyzing. But, I think if we take a look at being ranked 31st and last... well, that averages out to not too great.
David Scott- "Buffalo, at the risk of sounding pukey, is like a warm sweater on a very cold night......It might not be sexy, but its human and real. " I truly loved that. Thank you.
I don't like these polls. They rarely change my biased (read: Buffalo Based) opinions about other towns. All I can ever say is that, personally, if I didn't like it here I'd leave.
I agree with gaustad and rickyrick -- This little-big-town of ours leaves little room to escape your past.
Actually, BuffaloSoldier, Buffalo is shedding younger people no faster than any other region. Retention isn't the primary burden of this generation. According to a recent study by UB, it's the trouble attracting *new* younger residents that has us falling a bit behind. Rankings such as these couldn't hurt in boosting our numbers, for sure. I'll take top 35 in any nationwide ranking!
Everyone is just used to reading the Buffalo news. What we read must be the truth!!!!
I agree, Hodge. My best friend is single in NYC and the only real dating option there is Internet based. And you don't have the tinyest bit of information about the person that you are going out with..which is slightly scary. I'm not in the dating scene here but I am looking forward to getting to know people. Call me an optimist, but I think if us newbies pay our dues people here are pretty receptive.
Buffalo needs to rid of 90% of it's current population and bring in NEW Blood, build over all the vacant lots and re-develop the entire city from it's current run down ghetto appearence. Then, just maby, The city will be more appealing again.
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