Theological Thursdays: Four Principles for Panhandler interactions

My feelings towards giving money to a stranger on the street typically depend on a few things. i.e. how I’m approached, the demeanor of the person asking, how much money I have on me, and my attitude and happiness at that particular moment.

I find the biggest problem to be when it becomes a hustle. You're asked for dollar, give it, and then walk past the person again later on and asked again. Or when they have the audacity to barter with you - you offer a dollar they now want more. Is this money being used for drugs? does it matter? do i even care?

While I feel somewhat bad for these people, there are programs out there to help them to make an honest living being productive in society.

I agree with Fortunate4now about how I'm approached and my mood - but also where and when I'm approached. I don't like to be captive, e.g. while I'm pumping gas. As for how I'm approached; I've heard the story about needing - bus fare, the car that's broken down, the child in the hospital (if I'm on Elmwood, the kid's at Mercy in Kenmore, if I'm in Kenmore, the kid's in Children's). A simple "can you spare some change" works wonders.

I, as well, have a great deal of inner-conflict on this.
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Per the doctrine I follow - I am to be compassionate.
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However, living in the area I do I see the panhandlers go from their perches to known drug houses and back to the perches again.
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Therefore, I have a simple resolution: Teach a man to fish. By providing the fish, the lesson is lost. By teaching how to fish, they have to participate and learn the lessons to forward them towards some sort of sustainability.
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Having been homeless during my 20's I pushed as many games as possible. But, it wasn't until I hit total rock bottom that I learned the lessons well enough to rise from it all.
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I think everyone should have the opportunity to hit the bottom in order to remediate their lives.

There is nothing holy or good in aiding a drug addict in getting more drugs. I don't care what your belief system is or how good it makes you feel to "help" people. The vast majority of panhandler want money for some form of intoxicant. If you have some data that proves me wrong, then please let me know. They play on our sympathy and often time fear to get you to hand over the money you worked for so they can have a free ride.
They walk up to people who are otherwise minding their own business and harass them. If you need the definition of aggressive panhandling just sit at Hardware/ Mulligan's / Sample or any place with a patio and it won't take long.
There are plenty of places in the city, most of them located in the Elmwood/ Allentown neighborhoods for people who are hungry to get fed and feeding the hungry is great thing, but, if a panhandler asks for money for food or a bus at 3am I always feel like they are lying.
If you have to ask WWJD... donate money to a "Soup Kitchen" or better yet volunteer your time and help out at one. WWJD.... hmmmm, not help you get wasted.

I forget what religion it is (I think its russian orthodox)...but there is a belief thatgod visits us disguised as the needy...not as god...to judge our heart by the least among us.

So in this sense I, as a christian, have failed many times but I try to remember what an african american friend told me once a long time ago. They were talking about prejudice and bigotry...that the hardest part for them...was people crossing to the other side of the street, avoiding conversation or even something they probably dont even notice like averting their eyes. I imagine the same de-humanizing prejudice happens for the homeless. Ever since then I have made it a point to be aware of my surroundings, to look people in the eyes even if its for a short period and remind myself that no matter their circumstances this person is a child of god, this person is someones child, this person is a human being.

Even a penny...says...I see you...your a human being

I also agree that a bigger question needs to be asked, do they know where homeless shelters are, where food pantries are, where churchs and missions are, where volunteer organizations are, where minimum wage jobs can be had (this is something forever elmwood and other business/business associations can help significantly...are there elmwood businesses that could offer minimum wage jobs to the homeless...or put job adds in local shelters and food pantries).

No, I do not agree that people have to hit rock bottom as MRogers points out.

No we dont need to take away their freedom but we do need to stop seeing addiction as a crime and start seeing it as an illness, we need to stop ignoring the homeless and start seeing them as the human beings that they are....here is a clue....when you look at someone no matter how old...for one moment...regress them down to a 5 year old child...thats how god sees us.

We can be 90 years old...but within our bodies...we are still 5 years old...

CSLEWIS is a wonderful christian author...even if you offer no help at all...at least acknowledge they exist and have compassion...and do no harm....far to many of us project old testament judgement...leave the old testament judgement to the followers of the old testament.

I don't have particular stats on panhandlers, but most homeless people are not addicts.

http://www.wnyhomeless.org/sitepages/publications/education/MythsFactsheetColor.pdf

People learn to lie because they learn what works. Not saying that it makes it right, just saying how it is.

I agree that putting money into responsible programs is a great way to go (Loaves and Fishes is one of my favorites, as is the homeless alliance).

MRogers, I would love to hear some of your story, how you recovered after hitting "rock bottom."

I should have added that one of the great things about living in western new york is that we can dial 211 can have crisis services available to make references easily.

And QueenCity, your story about God being the person in need comes from Matthew 25, so it is common to all Christian denominations. A similar principle could be gleaned from the way Abraham entertained God when he thought he was entertaining guests--that would include Islam and Judaism among those with similar teaching. I wouldn't be surprised if other faiths had a similar story, but somebody else will have to tell us where/what it is.

If I had a good night waiting, I will sometimes flip them a five or if I am buying a 12 pack of beer, I will hand out a couple of them on my walk home if someone asks me for one.

I've given food instead of money most of the time. That's helped negate my apprehension that the money will end up in a drug dealer's hands. I do feel guilty about having that assumption now that Rev. Drew brings it up but I do still feel good about giving food. There's always going to be more that I can do to help so I'm glad that this topic was brought up, since I'm sure I'll think about it the next time an opportunity arises to help someone.

Needles: I find that giving food separates those telling the truth (that they are hungry) from those looking for money to buy something else. When I lived in NYC I was often approached in Penn Station, so I would offer to walk with the person right over to Dunkin (or whatver was near) and buy them a bagel & coffee. I can only remember once were someone actually took me up on it.

In the mid-1990s, there used to be a very friendly homeless man that asked for money at the Carnegie Hall subway stop at 57th Street and Seventh Avenue. I used to give him clothing -- outerwear and shoes for NYC's cold weather -- and I'd always seem him wear the clothing a few days later. Some years went by and he had written a successful book about his homeless experiences that got him into an apartment. However, because I never knew his last name, I never got a chance to get the book. I hope I find it someday.

I was a probation officer in Washington, DC, so I am not familiar with WNY's homeless statistics, but from my experience, a lot of the homeless that are asking for 'help' are addicts, and the money you give goes towards supporting that habit. I have tried to offer food (as others have posted here) and have never been taken up on the offer. Call me jaded, but it's hard to have empathy when you know a lot of the homeless are taking that money and not spending it on what is truly important. The entire system is a mess. I applaud individuals that feel it is their religious or civic duty to feel guilty and help the homeless, but it infuriates me that the federal, state, and local governments aren't doing enough to stop the endless cycle that creates this problem in the first place(mental health issues, the economy, racisim, crime, poor education) - it makes me less inclined to feel guilty and hand out my spare change and makes me more inclined to petition the government to step up and open their eyes.

I have often directed people who have approached me on the street for money to Friends of the Night People, City Mission, and Catholic Charities. Buffalo is a very compassionate and charitable town with many resources available to those who need it. There is no reason for anybody to have to stand in the street and ask strangers for money. I have taken myself out of the equation by not trying to assume I know who is honestly in need of money for food or a family emergency and who is not. It's passing judgment either way you look at it. And, frankly I don't have time to take anybody to Dunkin' Donuts. I know the streets of Buffalo pretty well and I have seen the same panhandlers in the same spots for years. And if I'm not mistaken it’s illegal. Here's my perspective. To me, giving money to panhandlers is really like giving a drink to an alcoholic. It enables them to remain in that lifestyle and not make any meaningful changes in their lives. If a lifestyle can be supported by something that is familiar then there is no impetus for change. And change is what's really needed. Individual empowerment leads to social development and panhandling is the least empowering means of supporting oneself that I can think of. Few experiences are as embittering as the gradual perception of oneself as a victim of social inequality and in my mind that's what happens to panhandlers’ thinking each time they are given money by a “benevolent” stranger. Panhandling is what keeps individuals trapped in that lifestyle.

please give to charities not to individuals it encourages them to stay on the street and they made miss a chance to receive much needed help

I live between Allentown and Downtown. I get asked for change countless times a week.

Nine times out of ten I decide not to give money to people.

A large majority of the people that confront me have some story about what they need the money for... blah, blah, blah, etc. It is all lies.

Over the past few years I've tried several approaches.

1. Giving them money and saying "be safe".
- Then the next time they saw me they expected me to give them money again.

2. Rejecting his or her demand for money with aggression and anger.
- This was very therapeutic and fun. Screaming at "Mr. or Mrs. Con Artist" was a great stress relief. But I knew in the long run it was wrong.

3. Buying him or her food instead of giving cash.
- Again the next time they saw me they expected me to give them food again.

4. Now a days I simply respond with the truth, "CAN'T.. the recession, college loans, rent, etc. all got me strapped for cash".
- Generally most pan handlers are cool with it and say they're "sorry".

Since the collapse of economy my pan handler problems have become much easier with a little honesty.

Treat people how you want to be treated and if someone needs help, they need to help themselves.

Me looking Mr. or Mrs. pan handler in the eyes and saying "hello" is enough. I don't owe them anything.

Now donating to charity and supporting organizations that help those in need, no problem done and done.

Just had an incident with a panhandler here in the library downtown. I'm getting in some Buffalo Homecoming e-mailing before heading over to the sunset reception at City Hall (7:30 to 9:30 tonight -- stop reading this and head over!), and popped up to the second floor for a pop. There was this guy standing at the phone asking people who approached the pop machine for a quarter (since the pops are $1.25, I guess by definition everyone either approaching or leaving the machine has a quarter). By the time I got my pop there was no one around, and when I couldn't help him out he got mad and started following me around. He literally followed me down the escalator and to the cafe table where I'm working -- and pulled up a chair and said something like "now we're going to have a little chat." The guy was so fixated on harassing me he didn't even see that there was a security guard nearby -- but when he saw the guard he skedaddled out the front door. The guard told me he had been pulling some other nonsense earlier in the day and they'd been keeping an eye on him.

When people cross the line from asking for money to harassment, it's a challenge to be sympathetic.

I have been reading BR for some time, but this is the first time that I have actually found myself so annoyed as to actually register and comment.

Background: I have lived and worked in Allentown for approximately ten years. During this time, I have been hit up for cash with yarns which run the gamut from implied innocence("my husband is abusive and my baby needs milk") to reverse discrimination("you don't hate black folk, do you?") to theatrical honesty("I ain't gonna lie, I wanna beer").

And, through my experience, there have been several constants, namely:

-The same people tell the same story every day
-The same people often offer to sell obviously stolen merchandise(usually smash/grab CD cases from cars)
-All offers of food have been met with vulgarity
-All offers of a job have been met with even more profane vulgarity
-These people have proven themselves to be PREDATORS, as they target women, the elderly, and the obviously suburban for their most aggressive affronts.

My advice is simple: give them nothing, not even an apology. Providing an individual with cash for bad behavior is not unlike giving your dog a treat for soiling the rug.

"He literally followed me down the escalator and to the cafe table where I'm working -- and pulled up a chair and said something like "now we're going to have a little chat."

This is why I have a concealed carry permit. I rarely leave home without carrying and unfortunately I have had to pull it more than once due to threatening actions by panhandlers, thugs, and drug dealers around my neighborhood. People tend to leave you alone when they know you aren't afraid to kill them to protect yourself.

There is no excuse for what you had to go through. Good thing that you weren't a woman in this situation, because the outcome may have been different. It is sad that the security guard didn't intervene to keep this guy out of the library. They knew he was a problem, but still let him in to harass library patrons, that is just wrong.

Anyway, you should protect yourself. There was a panhandler in Philadelphia who used a straight razor to slash the face of a woman who refused to give her money. There was another instance in Washington DC last year where a group of panhandlers attacked a pedestrian for not "paying the toll" on their sidewalk. He was left partially paralyzed from the attack.

This is more than just guys trying to scam money for drugs and drink. Some of these panhandlers are seriously dangerous people and it is best to defend yourself. By the time the police arrive to help you, it will be too late for you to do much but finger the panhandler in a line up or photo book from your hospital bed.

im a big fan of offering to buy them a loaf of bread or say something like "hey, the Red Cross is 2 blocks up" or "Catholic Charities is just down the road"

if im feeling particularly saucy, then i usually tell them to at least come up w/ something original beside the need diapers/gas/busfare/food/taxi for my baby stick.

For the record, nothing in the post said that a person should reward or even tolerate abusive behavior.

Neither am I advocating for or against direct aid. In fact, my first statement was that I normally do not give directly to people that ask.

Instead of giving directly to a person (because some will use it for food and others for not so good things) your money is better spent donating to a decent charity that helps the homeless. Donate to goodwill, salvation army, a soup kitchen, a clothing drive, etc etc.

I offer them food. They rarely take it, sometimes they do. On a cold February morning at like 6am some man wanted a coffee when I was getting mine. He got it and was happy.

Also, if god can forgive them for smashing my mom's car window and stealing stuff (when she was visiting from Albany)then he can forgive me for not giving more to the people who do that sort of stuff

Didn't mean to take the discussion in a negative direction with my comment yesterday -- I needed to vent a bit at the moment -

This is a great article and I've enjoyed reading the serious and thoughtful comments. How to deal with panhandlers is perhaps one of the most visible and challenging issues (because it affects most of us on a regular basis) facing urban folks who care about quality communities and also take (or try to) a spiritual principled approach to life. As for me, I haven't resolved it yet in my own mind or behavior, and it's very helpful to hear where others are in terms of how they address it.

For what it is worth, not all panhandlers are homeless and not all homeless people are panhandlers.

I've always wanted to buy someone a sandwich when requested, but can't do it if it makes me late to work and brings the boss down on my head.

So maybe the BRO readership knows the answer to this. Are there any fast food joints that sell coupon books? I'd gladly carry coupons for burgers for those who say they need a meal.

I keep bus tokens on hand for my own use, but when someone says they need money to catch a bus, I give them a token.

They all sell gift cards, but this is, in my mind, a wash.

If a person is addicted, that addiction can (and likely will) grow to the point where the drug is more important than the food. Gift cards and coupons will be sold and converted into cash to feed the addiction.

It's a good idea, but addictions are ruthless.

Quick thoughts -- I'm not a Christian, so perhaps it's not my place to offer criticisms of these "Christian principles." But overall I find the mingling of the social and the theological here off-putting. People can have reasons either secular or religious for responding to panhandling. The first principle I agree with to an extent -- that which I've earned through fruits of my labor goes towards supporting MY family first, not someone else. The remainder after budgeting goes towards the community I live in, which includes helping indirectly and serving directly.

Principle two I disagree with fundamentally -- the Christian who claims that only God can be judge is still actively engaging in life on this plane, and must make choices. Even if they are applying a lens over their decision-making process, deciding what to do in the face of the current situation and scripture/God's teachings, they are making decisions, and this is judgment. Some might say that applying scriptural judgment is different from acting as a judge, but I really think that's just semantics. As a non-Christian, I still try not to judge the individual as a person, but rather to judge the situation; this is just an extension of principle three, with which I whole-heartedly agree. I have met so many great people over the years who were in a bad economic place, and I really try not to judge a book by its cover. Sometimes

Principle four I really don't know what to make of, outside of some definitions. Do you mean "leading a life of service," in the Christian sense, as opposed to "helping" in isolated cases? Or is it more the teach-a-man-to-fish argument? I'm just a little confused by how this principle applies, other than to provide counterpoint to the others' judge-not-unless-you-be-judged application.

This is my very simple offensive approach when dealing with panhandlers. Before they ask you for some change, ask them if they have any "spare change" for you. This works every time. The look on their face when you approach them first is priceless and always leaves them speechless.

Lowrider: I utilize another effective solution but it takes more work. When walking down Elmwood I carry a glass jar filled with urine. When a non deserving panhandlers (a.k.a obvious drug addict) asks for money, I simply put my loose change into the jar, shake, and hand it over to scumbag with a slight chuckle. As they say, it is the little things in life that give us pleasure…

DOC:

Atually the jar contains a lot of yellow urine. Thanks for pointing out the correction. I think we both can agree on the laugh though..